I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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