why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
