i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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