I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
