need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
