I want to make a zoo with you.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
as a side note pls kill me
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
