I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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