so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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