my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
