Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
