Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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