I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
