The maid of honor just puked.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
