Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
