so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
