I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
