Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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