next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It's just like the Real World with babies
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
