is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize