high people should be assigned attendants
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So squirting runs in the family.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
