One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
