with your own penis?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
