At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
