Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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