I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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