Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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