hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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