i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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