We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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