I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
