He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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