Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
