This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
