Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
