She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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