I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i want to swaddle you in tequila
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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