Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
