I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
