if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
