On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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