Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
