Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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