i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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