I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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