walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he just fucked me for my cheese..
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
His nipple licking is glorious
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