JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
