you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
