Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm always down for nudity.
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