So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
