I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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